Exist
by ShadowValley
Summary: Alex banishes Bobby's insecurities as they make love for the first time. PWP Romance First chapter rated T, M to MA in later chapters.
1. Why I Love You

Exist by Shadow

AN: This chapter is rated T for sexual content. The second and third chapters are rated M, and the rest of the story is rated MA for graphic sex.

1: Why I Love You

Their first kiss had been nothing short of electric. Teasing, playing, competing, and communicating. They'd both been surprised at how easily they cooperated to create a perfect kiss, though in retrospect, both would admit that they really should have figured as much all along. Once the 'I love you's had come tumbling out, their bodies flowed together as cohesively as their minds and their hearts always had.

As had been predicted (and bet on) many times around 1 PP, it had been sharing a hotel room that had done them in. She'd emerged from the shower wearing endearingly practical but still very sexy night clothes, pink satin shorts with a matching backless tank. She'd tossed her robe carelessly over her arm, sending poor Bobby the clear message, "I don't need to be dressed in front of you, do I?" Well, if she wanted a way to kill him without leaving any evidence of a crime, she'd certainly found a possibility. Bobby sat on the edge of his bed trying (and failing) not to stare. Hadn't it been cruel enough to leave her birth control carelessly on the bedside table? They'd been staring up at him, daring him to question the reality that she was, in fact, a single, beautiful and sexually active woman. No, that wasn't enough. She'd had to make sure he could see every curve, every inch of decent skin on her body, and thus expose him to the harsh truth that, like all men, he was in his heart of hearts, a pig.

_My coworker. My friend. My coworker and friend who doesn't even think about what she's wearing for the night because she knows she can _trust _me. And I'm sitting here having R rated thoughts at the sight of her. No, scratch that: NC-17 rated thoughts it is._

But as it had always been with Bobby and Alex, it hadn't been the fact that they were both desirable or both convenient that brought them together that night. Like all things between them, it was their friendship that had been the clincher. Talking first, then touching.

Alex stroked his cheek when they separated from that first intoxicating kiss. "I've been in love with you for so long. I absolutely adore you, Bobby. She tasted him again, knowing she would never get enough of his flavor: mixed parts coffee, oranges and pure, unadulterated, oh so sexy Robert Goren.

But this time he eased her away. She looked at him, confused and a little hurt. She had been pretty damn sure he'd been enjoying himself, and now he looked perplexed and worried. "Why?" he whispered.

Her brow furrowed. "What kind of a question is that?"

"What do you see in me? I'm older than you, and I'm sagging. My life is a wreck. I'm really too old to give you kids." He looked at her mournfully before finishing in a subdued voice. "I'm broken."

"Bobby," she said quietly, holding up his chin. "Don't you talk like that about the man I love." She kissed him again, very gently this time. "You're beautiful," she whispered with the intent to discredit any flaw he could find in himself. She kissed his hair. "I don't see you as older. 'Smatter of fact, I think you're pretty hot," she said earnestly, looking at him appraisingly as if she'd never seen him before. "Your eyes. They say so much without a single word. Your smile always makes my heart beat faster. Your adorable button nose, which by the way-" She paused here to press her lips against it. "I have always wanted to kiss." He smiled a little at the admission. Her right hand traveled down to rest on his chest, absently stroking his nipple through the fabric while he groaned. Down to his stomach where she traced lazy circles teasing at the line of his jeans. "And don't get me started on your body or I'll never shut up.

"Your life is complicated, yes, but you've come out a strong, kind, compassionate, smart man. Don't you understand that's why I'm so proud of you?" He looked at her with an sad expression and a sparkle of hope in his eyes. "And I don't need kids. I've got Nathan, I've got all my nieces and nephews. I'm not a cavewoman: I don't measure you as a man by how fertile you are. You're not broken at all. Do you hear me?"

He smiled, and she could see he believed her. "You make me feel whole. I love you, Alex."

She gave him a smile and reached for his lips again, her kiss becoming more demanding now; fiercer. She cried out into his mouth as his hands wandered to her bare arms, clutching her gently, doing his best to keep his hands from wandering somewhere that would make her angry. Somewhere he was aching to touch her. "I love you so much, Bobby," she whispered as her fingertips started to work their way up under his tee. And in a husky, voice, more like just a breath she finished the thought:

"Let me show you."

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	2. Let Me Show You

AN: This chapter and the next are rated M, by which I mean actual M, as in the fiction equivalent of R. After that, it's MA (NC-17) rated.

Chapter 2 -Let Me Show You

_Let me show you._

The words reached through Bobby's consciousness with a sense of unreality. But that reality solidified as he felt Alex's fingers reaching through, or rather _up_, his shirt. But the gravity of what she was doing struck him just as suddenly. This was a big step, and he would never forgive himself if Alex rushed into something she wasn't ready for on his behalf. "Are you absolutely sure?" he wondered. _Please let her be sure_, he added mentally. Considerate as he was, as in touch with her feelings as he may have wished to be, he was, after all, still male.

But her face didn't look as though she was ready for his consideration. She looked slightly hurt. "Don't you want me?" she asked, suddenly unsure of herself.

"Oh, believe me Alex, there's nothing I want more. I just don't want you to feel rushed, or feel like you're obligated."

"Rushed, huh?" she wondered, her sense of humor emerging from the hurt. "I was under the impression that I had waited a few years to have mind-blowing, earth-shattering, Ohmygodthatissogood sex with you." He smiled in spite of himself. "I have imagined this every way possible, my Dear, and I have no intention of waiting any longer." She kissed him again, hungrily, raiding his mouth with her own; resumed her exploration under his shirt.

Her lips moved to his ear again. "Undress me," she husked, moving off him to stand by his bed. Closing her eyes to enjoy the sensation, she waited (not that she had long to wait) for his hands to move over her arms, up to her shoulders and down to her naked back. She shivered. He tugged lightly at the tie weaving it's way up the back of her top; eased it open, enjoying the expanse of her smooth skin under his hand.

"Did you pick this outfit for me?" He wondered into her ear.

"Are you kidding? When I found out we were going to be sharing a room, I went out and bought all the sexiest night clothes I could find short of a stop at Lover's Lane. Didn't want to be _too _obvious," she cracked.

He pulled the scant fabric off her front and felt a hitch in his breath. She was so beautiful and he made sure to tell her so before bending down to kiss every inch of her breasts torturously before finally taking the tip of one into his mouth and sucking. She let out a low moan of pleasure as he continued to rub his tongue and teeth over her nipple, hardening at his touch. She could feel his erection growing against her and she groaned again.

"Uhn, Bobby, there'll be plenty of time for that later. Clothes off now. I want to do this just right. I want to do this for _you_."

Bobby hesitated. In his fantasies (of which there were plenty) he was nearly always the one to take charge. Not because he wanted to be dominant or to wear the pants, so to speak, but because he wanted to show her how grateful he was, how appreciative he felt just to have her in his arms. He imagined kissing every inch of her body while she moaned. Tasting her until she was screaming his name, anything she felt like screaming for that matter. Staying inside her as long as it took to make her quake with pleasure all over, hopefully more than once. Fantasies about her doing those things for him were always accompanied by a sharp pang of guilt and the feeling that he was being inexcusably selfish. But for the moment, at least, he kept these thoughts to himself as he put his hands on her waist and slid off the shorts. He moved them slowly down over her hips. No chance he was going to undress Alex without making it as pleasurable for her as possible. He rubbed his hands over her backside just as slowly, getting a mewl of approval for his trouble. He couldn't resist looking over her shoulder for a better view as he did so. He knelt, taking the shorts all the way down her legs; letting her step out of them. He looked up at her, completely nude now, and felt his own jeans growing tighter.

She smiled down at him, somewhat self conscious about her nudity. She'd loved this man for so long, and had fantasies about him nearly every night for all that time. Now she worried that he would find fault with her middle-aged and less than perfect body. Those fears were washed away with his next words:

"Your body is a masterpiece, Alex," he whispered. Her smile grew to one of confidence.

"Oh," he blurted, suddenly aware of her night clothes resting on the floor. He picked them up and folded them neatly on her bed while she watched with a bemused expression, her hands on her hips.

"I'm standing here completely naked and I still don't have all your attention. Unbelievable, Bobby."

"Well, you'll want them neat for later," he said a touch defensively.

"Oh, I don't think I'll really be wearing those a lot. And wait till you see the black ones." She pushed his clothed chest gently toward the bed. "Lie down," she said quietly, more an offer than an order. "And just relax."

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	3. Mine

AN: This chapter is rated M/R. The rest of the story is MA/NC-17.

Chapter 3 - Mine

ooo

Bobby obediently laid down on the bed. He went to hers automatically, figuring if she had chosen this bed for some reason, she must find it more comfortable than the one he'd been left with. Alex might intend for this to be about him, but even in his most selfish fantasies, he was, after all, still Bobby Goren.

"You wanna mess up _my _bed, huh?" she teased, climbing on top of him. She made sure to lightly brush the bulge in his jeans as she returned her hands to the bottom of his shirt.

"No, Alex, I-" he started and saw her smile.

"You figured, correctly, that I chose this bed so the air conditioner wouldn't be blowing on me all night, and I would be more comfortable here than on yours right next to the AC." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah," he answered, incredulous.

She smirked and leaned close to his ear, more breathing than saying, "I think I'll be hot enough not to mind, don't you agree?"

"Uhhhn," he responded, reaching up to cup her breast, rolling the nipple under his thumb.

"If you want to touch me, go ahead," she said matter-of-factly, repositioning herself so she stradled him completely. "But you don't have to. I just wanted to give you a nice view while I get to work here." She said this lightly, as if offering to pass him the mashed potatoes at dinner. She teased the bottom of his stomach under the seam of his shirt with her fingertips, pushing the fabric up slowly, watching every inch of revealed skin with a curious, contented expression. She moved her body down until she was sitting lightly on his thighs and began kissing his torso as she moved the shirt up toward his chest.

Bobby eagerly helped her pull the shirt up over his head. She gazed at his body with a kind of reverence, as if in awe of what she was seeing; bent to kiss the sprinkle of chest hair she found, moved to the left to playfully nip at his pec, getting a rewarding, gutteral moan. She smiled against his skin. "I like those noises you're making, Bobby. Let me know how I'm doing." She barely touched her tounge to the tip of his nipple and dragged it up, returned to suck the pink spot into her mouth.

"Oh, God," he murmered.

"Now see, that's feedback I can use." She gazed at him appraisingly. "Hmm, let's see... Right here I think," she decided, tracing a spot above his stomach. She lowered her mouth to it, determinedly sucking on the spot. She stayed there for about a minute; moved up and a hair's width to the right. She kept up this pattern to what seemed like an hour to Bobby, who was getting rather uncomfortable in his jeans.

"Alex, my pants, I kind of..."

She jumped mid-suck. "Oh, sorry!" She was genuinely flustered. "You can't be comfortable," she bemoaned, loosening the zipper without the slow, teasing manner she'd adopted. Her façade broken, she suddenly felt clumsy, almost inexperienced. "I wasn't thinking, I-" He stopped her with a finger on her lips.

"Everything's perfect," he answered quietly. "I've never felt so good. Relax." He helped her with the button, and gently moved her to a spot beside him on the bed; lifted his backside off the surface to push the jeans down.

_Hm, he's a boxers man, _she mused. _I guessed, but it's good to know for sure. _

Alex resumed her seductive manner. "These can stay on for now," she decided, running a hand up under the seam of a leg. "I need to be able to control myself," she explained when his face suggested that he didn't seem to like this particular idea as much as the rest of them. "I was right in the middle of something." She resumed the gentle sucking on his torso, and he was only beginning to wonder what was taking her so long, when she straightened up and admired her handiwork. "You know, I'm not normally a possessive lover," she said conversationally. "But I think I'll make an exception."

Bobby had no sooner begun to wonder what she was talking about, when he looked down at his stomach and saw the pattern of hickies she'd made.

She'd sucked her initials onto his skin. "Unbelievable, Alex," he said through a light chuckle.

"All mine," she insisted, kissing him right over his heart.

ooo

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	4. Curiously Strong

AN: Definitely MA/NC-17 rated.

AN2: Thanks for reading and reviewing. You guys are the best!

Chapter 4: Curiously Strong

"And this is mine, too," she added, massaging his erection through the boxers. He let out a moan that made Alex feel like a Venus. Her fingers played for a moment with the waistband, then slowly, painfully slowly, kissing his thighs and calves as she went, pulled them down and all the way off.

"Ohhhh," she groaned looking at him completely for the first time.

Flattered, Bobby jokingly remarked, "Don't start without me."

"I can't help it," she breathed. "It's as beautiful as the rest of you. I'm going to come just looking at you." She bent over and kissed a bead of moisture off the tip.

She heard a sharp intake of breath. "Alex if you start that, I'm going to loose it completely. I want to pleasure you. This," he finished, gesturing at the erection, "Is for you."

"Yes," she agreed, "It's mine, and I'll do what I want with it." She bent to kiss it again.

"Well, most women think... I mean, I wouldn't want you to do anything you don't want to. If you think it's gro- ohhhhh." His words were interrupted by a deap moan as she took a light suck at the tip, scraping her teeth in rebuke.

"Bobby, Love, when have I _ever _done _anything _I didn't want to do?" she demanded, putting her hands on her hips and staring, for the most part, down at his face, her eyes occasionally wandering.

"Good point. But Alex I want you to enjoy this. If I loose it..."

"Think about it this way, Bobby: If we start up now, you'll blow in, what? Two minutes. No offense," she said quickly when he started to protest. "That's not how I mean it, Bobby, but let's face it, you're ready to burst. If you let me take you into my mouth, we'll have twenty minutes of me time, then you'll last a good long time after we start.

"So when you think about it, I'm doing this for very selfish reasons."

He laughed. "But Alex, seriously, only do it if-" She sucked again.

"I'll beg if that's what you really want, Bobby, but you never really struck me as that kind of guy."

He couldn't help it, he laughed again. "_Never _supplicate yourself to me," he said seriously. "I want to worship you."

Alex actually blushed, but composed herself and got back to the task at hand. "Now close your eyes."

"But it's fun to watch," he said in a tone bordering dangerously on a whine.

"You will. But close your eyes." She kissed each one. "Just for a minute." He reluctantly obeyed; heard a rattling sound from the bedside table, then it moved over his torso. One final rattle as if something had been set back down.

And that's when he felt it. He opened his eyes; he couldn't help it. Her mouth was around him and she had set to work with relish while something like freezing fire seared his erection. He searched the bedside table for a clue as to what, exactly, he was feeling.

Altoids. _God this woman pulls out all the stops! Where did she learn this sex goddess stuff and how many men do I have to kill for teaching her?_ But she was still hard at work, her hands helping around the base where she couldn't reach with her mouth, trailing little spirals around his sac, brushing her fingers and lightly blowing into his hair.

She stopped and looked up. "Just promise me one thing if we do this Bobby: When you know you're about to come-"

"I'll pull out, I promise," he said, understanding.

"No. I want to taste you. Come in my mouth," she requested in a whisper.

_Yup, definitely have some men to kill._ Her request was liberating. Gone was the tension he'd felt, the dread of doing something that would disgust, or at least unsettle her. Her request, and her unbridled desire for every part of him had washed away any apprehension he'd been feeling.

Her mouth moved down to his sac, taking one of the balls into her mouth and gently sucking on it, then kissing them both; running her tongue over them, then up the seam on the underside of his erection. He grunted involuntarily. And he knew she had been right. Had he been inside her, it would have been over all too soon, before he could shoot her over the moon as he had every intention of doing. But that would have to wait because Alex was preoccupied at the moment, focusing only on his pleasure, yet somehow diving in with an enthusiasm that implied that she was having as much fun as he was. He wondered if it could be possible that she really was enjoying herself for the mere sex of the act.

_But not as much as I am_, he admitted.

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	5. Exactly What You Want

Exist by Shadow

5: Exactly What You Want

"JESUS! OH, GOD, ALEX, LOVER MY- I LOVE YOU OHGODILOVEYOU!" Alex smiled. _I must be doing something right_, she thought smugly. The tirade had come (no pun intended) when she gave one final almighty suck and pressed up on his perennium. He had quaked, writhing on the bed, pounding his fists and jerking uncontrollably. She yelled just as loud as her mouth was filled with him, not a yell of revulsion, but of triumph. She moved to his chest and started kissing him, letting the liquid flow over his body like rivers as her lips moved down from his heart, stomach, and finally giving him one last dainty kiss on the tip of his penis, as if thanking it. Trying not to think of the rumors that would start when the lone maid in the homey little hotel discovered trace evidence of their diversions on the linens (damn small town), she looked into Bobby's face and raised an eyebrow as if to ask him what he thought.

Bobby's eyes were half closed, tiring from the exhertion, and he looked at Alex lovingly, cradling her cheek in his hand. "Thank you." It didn't begin to express what he was feeling. Gratitude, yes, but also love, appreciation, warmth, desire, and more than any other feeling, the longing to give back every marvelous sensation, to make her feel just what he had felt and if he possibly could, to improve upon what they'd started.

But her akwardness had returned. "Can I kiss you or do you want me to wash up fir- hmm." Her sentence was interrupted as his lips crashed into hers, shockwaves washing over them both at the contact. He'd sat up abruptly, rose to meet her, already hungry for more. He made love to her mouth, trying to show her the depths of his gratitude and making evident his willingness to give her everything she could ever want and more.

He gently guided her down onto the surface of the bed, propping himself up on his elbow to rest beside her. He allowed his hand to travel from the nape of her neck, lazily down to her breasts, her stomach, barely touching her hip, just a little, to be a tease. Down to her legs, deliberately steering around her center, making her growl in frustration as he put a finger from his other hand over her mouth. Down, stroking the inside of her thigh. And back up, just to the spot where her legs met, and...

Around it, back up to her hips. She bit his finger to register her dissatasfaction with his slow technique. He just chuckled. "Impatient, Eames?"

Now she was glowering. "Watch it, Goren. I don't make it a habit to make love to men who call me by my last name."

"Alright, Alex," he conceded, kissing her on the neck between words, now stroking the side of her thigh furthest from him. "Twenty minutes of you-time. I'll do anything. Anything you want at all."

"Bobby, I'm trying to show you how much I love you," she said, trying not to gasp as his hand continued its wandering. "You're the one who doesn't believe it, and I don't want to boss you around. I don't want you to just do what I want, or what you think I want. You always give Bobby, you always get inside people's heads, figure out what _they _need. I know that if I gave you a chance, you could melt me into a puddle of sensual goo-" He started to interrupt, but she gently kissed him, encouraging him to be silent. "But think about why you would do that, Bobby?" The statement required an answer.

"To prove that- Because you're so- Because I don't-" But he stopped each answer short, suddenly comprehending why his answers weren't what she wanted to hear. He sighed in resignation and continued. "Because I don't think I deserve you," he admitted.

She stroked his cheek. "Exactly. You would do it out of servitude. Because you would think that being a sex god is the only thing that would make you good enough. You deserve everything good that the world has to offer," she assured him. "And I'm just as lucky as you are. And you have nothing to prove to me. And I already know you're a sex god," she finished.

"Alex, I haven't done anything yet." She raised her eyebrows and looked down at her hip, where he had been tracing circles in a light, maddening tickle.

"If you're not a sex god, how have you already found my favorite PG-13 rated spot?"

"Your what?" He stopped the concentric circles, looking at her in puzzlement.

"Of every inch of my body that shows in a bathing suit, you found the one spot that drives me _crazy _when you just barely touch it like that." 

"You made a noise the first time I touched it," he informed her, not a trace of bragging in his voice. "And when I lightened my touch you bit your lip and moved your head back. Seemed like a good place."

"It's taken all my other lovers at least six months to figure that out. Sex." _Kiss_. "God." _Kiss_, she reiterated.

Bobby, at this point, was smirking. "Well, you're the one coming up with all these great ideas. So not out of supplication, and not out of a desire to prove anything: I want to know exactly what you want."


	6. The Trouble With Mojo

Exist by Shadow

6: The Trouble With Mojo

ooo

"What I want, huh? Well, first of all, get up off the bed for a minute." He obeyed, smiling, though he wasn't really sure exactly what she wanted. She looked him up and down, noting with a smile that he was almost half-mast already. "Flattering, Bobby," she said, stroking the beginings of his erection lightly, then giving a little squeeze. She lingered for a moment on his face, watching his reaction to her touch. She looked him up and down, just barely brushing her fingers over every place her eyes wandered. On his chest, then down, finally resting on his toned thighs, thinking about how they might feel against her legs, wrapping them up as he thrust into her. _Don't get ahead of yourself_, she mentally chastised. She pointed her finger at the floor and swirled. "Turn around." He smiled in spite of himself. She spread herself out on her belly, hands supporting her head as if enjoying a particularly nice movie.

"Um, Alex?" he said after standing for a moment, feeling slightly self-concious.

"Hold on: I'm still enjoying the view." Finally, she couldn't resist anymore. She gave him a light smack.

"Hey!" Bobby laughed.

"Feels as good as it looks. Come here." He eagerly reached to kiss her, sitting next to her on the bed.

"What do you want me to do now?" he wondered.

She pondered this for a moment. "I'd like to let you decide." He started to protest, but she stopped him with a light kiss. "I'm serious. I want you to work your mojo on me."

"Mojo's a bad charm," he informed her without thinking. "Juju is the positive equiva..." he drifted off when she started to laugh, biting her lip to contain herself.

"I'm sorry, Sweetie, but you're just too funny sometimes. Oh! I said I wouldn't call you any stupid pet names, but... It doesn't bother you, does it?"

"You can call me whatever you want. Especially when we're naked."

"Okay, Honey, just do your thing. I've heard stories about you."

"All lies," Bobby said a little too quickly, making her bite back another laugh. "Okay, so not _all _of them, but I always wanted you. I only bothered with the others because I never dreamed I'd get you."

"Just do whatever it is you do, Bobby. You can make torturously long, sensuous, passionate love to me all night or you can just fuck my brains out if you're so inclined," she instructed matter-of-factly. "Either way, I'll love it. It'll be the best I've ever had."

He looked down at the comforter. "I don't want to disappoint you, Alex. What if I'm not..."

"Shh, shh. You couldn't Bobby. You couldn't disappoint me no matter what you do, because you're you, and I love you and making love to you will feel wonderful."

"Then lie down and relax," he instructed as he knelt beside her on the bed, easing her head down on his hand. "Normally I would start by taking about ten minutes to take off your clothes, but well, next time, I guess."

"I can get dressed again if you want," Alex offered in complete sincerity. "I have some pretty underwear in my suitcase, too."

"No, I think I prefer you this way. I can still do everything I want," he put his hand on her shoulder and lightly brushed it down over her arm as if easing off an invisible bra strap. She shivered at his touch. "Without the clothes," he finished. He traced his fingers over the swell of her breasts, lingering there before lowering his mouth to the spot where a bra would stop, revealing her pearly skin. He planted light kisses on the seam of her invisible bra, then surprised her by flicking his tongue down and over her nipple, making her gasp.

"You like that?" he asked calmly.

"Uh-huh." He smiled, then leaned back down to her breasts and graced them with a gentle blow, letting the warm air caress her curves. She squirmed, unsatisfied with the ghost of a sensation, wanting more. This continued for several slow minutes. Very slow, in Alex's opinion. "For God's sake, Bobby! Touch me!"

He smiled. "I thought we agreed you're not going to beg."

"I'm not begging, I'm demanding. There's a difference," Alex clarified.

Bobby's hand was traveling lightly over her breast, drawing concentric circles around her nipple. "I thought you wanted me to 'work my mojo' on you."

"But as you so dutifully informed me," Alex said, all the while pushing her body up to meet his hand full on. Much to her chagrin, he lifted his hand every time she got close. "Mojo is a bad thing. And I'm starting to agree, you tease." He continued his light minstrations.

Without warning, he seized her breast, kneading, rolling her nipple under his thumb. The other hand moved to her left breast, not wanting to let it feel left out. His touch had become demanding. He was positively groping; needing to touch her, feel her as much as possible. She let out a contented sigh, her hips involuntarly grinding at his.

He smiled, somewhat cocky. "That eager, huh?" His mood changed to one of everyday practicality bordering on whimsy. "Well, you're gonna have to wait. I haven't finished taking off your imaginary clothes yet."

She registered her frustration in the form of a growl that changed quickly into a purr as he began kissing his way up the inside of her thigh. "Panties off next, I think."


	7. Rare Vintage

Exist by Shadow

Thanks again for the great reviews, guys. And yes, it is my first time, but that's a very flattering thing to ask.

7: Rare Vintage

With that last line, Alex figured she was going to finally get some really solid heavy petting.

But this was Bobby Goren, and she was wrong. Because he gently kissed around the seams of her invisible panties for, what seemed to Alex, about an hour, making no moves to "take them off." She noted, with a bit of delayed timing, that no man had ever undressed her twice. She liked it. Finally, he started sliding his hands down her legs. "Bottoms up," he instructed.

Bobby was taking his time, and Alex was growing impatient. "Bobby, I'm sure you've noticed by now that there's NO REAL FABRIC!"

Bobby just chuckled. "I know. I just want to feel it again." Smiling, she obliged, and he ran his hands reverently over her backside, again just barely touching her for a few moments before giving it a good squeeze and gently moving a pillow beneath her.

He started his trail of kisses at her ankles, moving slowly up her until he reached the juncture of her legs, where he started sucking the flesh into his mouth, eliciting little mewling noises from Alex. "Please, Bobby. Touch me already - I need you."

He quit his sucking and kissing, and before Alex had a chance to fully register her annoyance, she felt his thumb on her clit, gently circling and pressing down on it. He turned his attention to the deeper recesses of Alex, moving first one, two, three fingers into her center and swirling just slowly enough to drive her crazy. Her head was already thrashing against the pillow, and he could help feeling a little smug about it, either. He splayed his fingers into a cone and quickly drew them out, giving her three distinct sensations along her walls, which he could feel involuntarily contracting at his touch, ready for him to enter.

_Nah, she only _thinks _she's ready, _he playfully decided.

He opened her folds and gently kissed her clit, making Alex give a little "eep" of surprise and pleasure.

"The smell," he murmered.

Self-concious, Alex raised herself up on her elbows. "Does it bother you?" There had been men in her past who had complained about the "fishy smell."

He took in a deep breath. "It's intoxicating. My nose could live here." She laughed a little, partially at the funny image his statement conjured, and partly out of relief for his evident pleasure. She'd never been with a man who was so eager, flat out, almost selfishly devouring the smell and taste of her.

"You know," he said, stopping between words to bestow gentle little kisses. "The Hawaiians call this," he demonstrated by running a tongue up just below her clit, getting another sweet little noise for his trouble. "'Punani.' It means beautiful flower. I think that's my favorite name for it, especially yours. So fitting." He reached his tongue as deep as he could into her center.

Alex collected herself long enough to give him a chance to recind his wordless offer. "You know, most men don't want to do that. I don't want you to do anything you don't want to, or anything you think is gross," she told him, only half mockingly. He chuckled a little. "I'm serious, Bobby. It's okay if you don't want to. I didn't go down on you because I wanted you to return the favor. Ohhh," she moaned as he moved his tongue again. "Never listen to me again, 'k? That's really - ohh," she mumbled again. She had never been with a man who had given her oral sex except to "make a sacrifice" for her happiness, or worse, just because he expected her to reciprocate. And here was Bobby, diving in with gusto, loving every minute of it.

As if to confirm her thoughts, he murmered, "This is the most beautiful thing I've ever tasted. I can't wait to taste," Kiss. "What other necters you offer me tonight."

This was too much for Alex. She came, not only from his gentle kisses on her clit, but also from his words. "Oh, God," she managed to utter. "So good, more Bobby, please. I want you inside me!"

"I'm not finished," he mumbled in a voice not unlike a child asking his mom for five more minutes of sleep. He withdrew his beautiful, talented mouth and replaced it with one long finger, crooking it to find her favorite spot. He'd only just touched it when she bored down and let out a yell. Alex's juices flowed freely and Bobby rushed to lap up every drop as if it were a bottle of rare vintage wine that had broken and spilled on her thighs.

_Oh, yeah,_ she thought. _Sex god._

Please review.


	8. The Sweetest Taste

Exist by Shadow

Thanks again, everybody. For the reviews and the read count I think has to be faked.

8: The Sweetest Taste

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"It tastes," he said, still licking up every trace of the juices he could find. "Like every dessert ever made."

She laughed. "You're sucking up, Bobby." A pause. "By all means, continue."

He smiled, his mouth still inside her, withdrawing only to speak. "No, I mean it. It's sweet and fruity with something I can't quite figure out." He pondered this for only a moment before tasting her again, determined to make her come again before...

Oh, God. Before... Before the paradise he couldn't have imagined would ever exist for him. Not that he hadn't tried to imagine it. That amazing place he thought he'd never be allowed. And now it was wide open before him like the pearly gates. She was welcoming him inside, and by some miracle, she was as eager as he was for them to finally make that connection.

He felt two fingers brush his cheek, and realized Alex was taking some of the liquid from her thigh. Face still thoroughly occupied, he heard the sound of sucking, then a low moan. "Very nice. But you taste better," she teased. "Uhn. I want you inside me right now, Bobby," she insisted.

"More demanding?" he asked.

"Was that a question or an order?" Alex shot back. "I can demand some more if you want. I need to feel you inside me. Right. Now."

"Do we need protection?"

She just smiled and gave his back a light kick. "Don't tell me the great Robert Goren failed to notice my birth control on the bedside table?"

His insecurity returned in full. "Yeah, but I thought you might _want_-"

"Hell, no, Bobby!" she yelled, trying not to sound angry. "I want you. I want to feel you come inside me. And I want it NOW." She had already given him the once over to make sure he was ready and she now felt justified in ordering him to give her what they both craved.

Wanting nothing more than to bury himself inside her as soon as was humanly possible, he hesitated once more. "Alex, I don't want to sound arrogant or anything, but there is a size issue here. Are you absolutely sure you're ready?"

She smiled, a reaction he hadn't anticipated; flipped herself out from under him and up off the bed. Alex gently rearranged him till he was lying prone, allowing herself another moment to admire his body. She then stradled his leg and arched her back, levying her weight while keeping her center steadily in contact with his thigh. She rubbed her wetness against his leg.

"Still think I'm not ready?" she purred. That was all it took. He lifted her gently and positioned her center over his erection. Getting one last nod of consent, he thrust.

ooo

I know I'm evil for leaving you all hanging at the best part, but... tough cookies for you! The more reviews I get, the faster I type. And if you all are good and naughty, I might give you the next chapter for Christmas!


	9. Ecstasy

Exist by Shadow

Thanks, as always, for the reviews.

9: Ecstasy

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OH, GOD, HE'S FUCKING AMAZING!

But all Alex got out of her mouth was "Oh, God!"

"Oh, you can just call me Bobby," he said with a smirk.

She smacked his arm playfully. "That's my cocky Bobby. So full of himself."

Bobby gazed down at their joining, thrusting gently, making her moan with pleasure. "Well, you should know by now you're right about the first adjective there." She bumped down hard on him in punishment, making him cry out in surprise and ecstasy. "But I'd say you're wrong about that second bit. _You're _the one who's full of myself."

Alex smirked. "And thank God I am," she quipped.

She ground into him with enthusiasm, pushing into his hips as if trying to drive him deeper into her than was physically possible. As if grinding so hard against him could somehow fuse them together and make them closer than two people could ever really be.

Then again, it was quite possible that no two people had ever been as close as they were then - connected by mind, heart, soul, and body. At that moment, their love was truly complete.

Bobby moved his hands from Alex's waist to tease her breasts a little more, rubbing his thumb over her hardened nipples, wishing he could reach them with his mouth. He tried, knowing he would not succeed, but hoping to show her how he longed to touch every part of her.

She read the gesture for what it was. "Wanna flip?" she offered playfully. He took her by the sides and rolled her over, thrusting hard as he pressed her against the bed, careful not to land on her. He drove in deeper until he was once again sheathed to the hilt, getting a groan of appreciation. She reached up to his neck as far as she could as he gratefully massaged a breast with his tongue.

"Hmm," she responded, words failing her.

"You approve?" he teased.

"I'll do the sweetalking, Bobby. You keep your mouth right. ther- Ohhh." He obliged. "I wanna talk to you," she said, feeling a little too high for her speech to be entirely coherent. "I wanna tell how good you feel. Inside me. All over me. I feel like I'm the one who's enveloped. It's like you're touching every part of me, and my brain can't even comprehend everything my body is feeling." Her speaking was rapid and somewhat slurred in her dizziness. He moaned into her breast, touched, sucking harder to show his appreciation for her words - his appreciation for her. "And looking in your eyes is the biggest aphrodiasiac of all, because I can see what I'm doing to you, and it turns me on, Bobby. It just really turns me on. Because I know you feel it, too. I can see it in you. In your eyes, the ecstasy. What I'm giving you. And it's the biggest ego boost I've ever had." Her eyes shone with a sparkling combination of love and lust. "I feel powerful." She clenched her walls tight to exercise her power; was rewarded with a loud cry from Bobby. "I've never felt so desirable."

"You are, Alex. You're desirable and you're desired. So desired." He lowered his mouth to kiss her. Their mouths made love for over a minute as Bobby slowed his thrusts. They separated and he resumed his minstrations to her breast. In one moment, he thrust hard into her while simulteaniously biting down on her nipple. The sensation was nearly too much for Alex to handle. Her center and breast stung, but only for one amazing moment before a wave of beautiful ecstasy rushed over her. She could feel that wonderful precipise - her pleasure mounting, then ebbing, each time he thrust into her. So close.

"Harder, Bobby," she said through clenched teeth. Trusting her to know her limits, he slammed into her as hard as he could manage without crushing her under his weight.

She screamed. "Oh, Bobby! There, there! Right there! Oh, God! Yes!" She slammed her hands down on the bed, twitching uncontrolably, writhing under him.

Bobby forced his breathing to stay even. He couldn't loose control now. He blocked out her screaming, something he desperately wished he didn't have to do. But he had to keep himself under control, had to make her come again.

_I know I can make her come again._

ooo

Please review!


	10. Exist

Exist by Shadow

AN: Last chapter! I want to thank everyone again for your overwhelming response to my first MA story. You make me feel like a sex goddess!

Chapter 10- Exist

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With the little strength Alex had left after having been pleasured three times, she drew herself up to her elbows. "I wanna ride you." They flipped again, laughing at the absurdity of the wrestling match. She straightened herself up on top of him and began fiercely grinding against him. He met her movements with thrusts, aching to reach the spot that would give her one final orgasm before she was spent.

And true to his intent, Alex started babbling again. "I'm coming. I can feel it. I'm almost there, we're so close. So close. No man has ever given me this much, Bobby. My whole life. I've hit my sexual peak at forty," she smirked, then grimaced as her sex hit another edge and retreated, her body biding its time until that one moment that would send her soaring. "So close," she said again. "I think this time." The feeling ebbed away again, and Alex growled in frustration. She was worrying now that she wouldn't be able to come again.

Bobby must have sensed her trepidation, because he started talking, trying to get her mind off her performance anxiety. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, Alex. All these amazing curves." He demonstrated his adoration by running his hands up and down every said curve. Hands roaming up her thighs, to her hips, his touch painfully light, a mere tickle against her skin. He moved to her backside, reverently massaging it, squeezing it, giving it his undivided attention. He moved his hands to the curve of her breasts. "Your face shows your strength and your wisdom shines through your eyes. Your soul reflects out of them, but it's the only way a person could possibly guess that you're forty; your body and face don't show your age. Perfectly taught and strong in all the right places." He absently played with her nipple, rolling it under his thumb.

She could feel it coming now, she was certain. It was like no prelude she'd ever felt, and she wondered how it was different from every other orgasm she'd ever experienced. He was so deep inside her, so deep it was a blissful ache. And when she thought her body could take no more, Bobby's finger was there, crooked, squeezing that spongy spot that he knew would drive her, once and for all, over the edge.

And she came. "Oh, my God, Bobby. I feel like I'm flying. I'm looking down at the Earth and seeing such beautiful things. The colors, there are just streaks of colors everywhere. It's like I've never- OH, _GOD!"_

She came down from her orgasm slowly, feeling her walls still clenching. Bobby let himself go; allowed himself to feel his own release. He cried out as he came inside her, spilling all over their bodies. He could feel her juices mixing with his at their joining and experienced a high he never knew was possible. He could feel himself go limp, but was unwilling to leave her body, wanting to stay inside her forever.

She was collapsed on him now, too spent to hold her body up any longer. She kissed him, weak from the energy she'd expended, yet never having felt so strong in her life. "Thank you," she murmured into his skin. Over and over, the same two words. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." Finally getting her wits about her and regaining control over her faculties, she managed to construct whole sentences. "What was that? It's never felt like that before. So deep, I'm so mellow, so drained, so content. I've never had one like it. What was it?"

"A cervical orgasm," he gasped, kissing every bit of her he could reach while still inside her. "Your cervix and," his breathing was ragged, and he spoke between kisses. "And your Gräfenberg spot at the same time."

Doing her best to remember high school biology in her daze, she pointed out, "I didn't think a man could reach the cervix."

"Well, um..." Bobby was reluctant to point out the difference between him and most men.

She quickly filled in the blanks. "Most men aren't hung like a blue whale."

"Actually, the penis of a whale isn't designed for pl-"

She collapsed on him again, this time in laughter. "I can't believe you sometimes, Bobby." He looked abashed, and she quickly elaborated. "It's wonderful." She kissed his nipple. "I love that about you Bobby. I love all of it: everything you are. Because you're beautiful." She kissed him again. "And amazing." Again. "And you're you.

"Bobby, you have to come out now."

Bobby looked at the spot where their bodies joined and realized she couldn't be comfortable on her perch. He gently rolled her over so that they were facing each other on the bed, and felt a loss as he withdrew.

It made them no less close, however. They snuggled up against each other, sated, at peace, and in love. "You gave me a beautiful gift tonight, Bobby."

"And you didn't?" he pointed out. She put a finger to his lips, wanting to finish the sentiment. "That was the most exhilarating thing I've ever felt, and I can never thank you enough for it. A beautiful gift," she reiterated.

They drifted to sleep this way, curled up in each other, limbs tangled, hands still cradling each other's faces.

"What did I ever do to deserve you, Alex?" he mumbled in that last moment before sleep overtook him.

Bobby had thought she was already asleep and was startled to hear her one word, whispered response.

"Exist."

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Okay, all done. Please let me know what you think!


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